I am a person. Represent me as such.

To let you know what got me here I am going to start at the end, which was me thinking

“that’s the definition of rape culture”

this thought was in response to a stupid conversation about a silly & reliably Tim Burton film.

In a nutshell {spiolers} because the movie was mildly amusing; the villain was a spurned ex-girlfriend who was quite literally a witch. Our hero: wealthy son of fishing giant Johnny Depps’ character slept with the witch who was the maid of the house for a time and she wanted him to love her. He politely and very english-ly responded that he would be lying if he said she loved her and then the viscous bitch obsessed with him kills the one he truly loves turns him into a vampire so he can agonize over her death for all eternity after a series of other horrible things as revenge.

Basically the woman is shown to be completely crazy and obsessive and spent centuries trying to spite him. What they don’t really show is her working for years across time to build a successful business that destroys his family business- which is all they show about Johnny Depp’s character and his family - hard work protestant ethics, the whole ball of wax. Coming from England to America, noble journey building port from scratch.

So years later, in the 70’s she is still pissed and obsessed and he wakes up from a dirt nap, kills a lot a fucking people. She still wants him and she goes after him he has sex with her again this is where the conversation comes in.

My friends notes: he should not have had sex with her if he didn’t love her.

Other friend: We’ll I don’t think he could help it, i think he was under her spell.

Needless to say this guy is a dude and way more stupid than I ever paid attention to, but that’s it folks all wrapped up in a nice little bow.

Men cannot help but screw women over because we enchant them, thereby absolving men of any of their actions because they are evil witches of seduction.

This was nice and obvious because she is literally a witch and actually crazy.

Angry at being unloved, the cycle repeats itself he falls in love with another innocent looking read: virgin, and leaves the whore-witch. He spends the entirety of the movie calling her horrible names. It’s like dark shadows pulled out and hyped up every shit thing that women ever get accused of and used it on the poor woman

• ice bitch, because she is successful at business
• cool to fuck but she’s a whore so don’t ring the bitch
• call her a bitch - or in this case something politer in an English accent
• bitches be crazy [stalker x girlfriend trope]

Now that i think about it more, this may be a parody

Meanwhile our hero and dedicated family man has been sleeping with and hurting other women and killing more people. This is blamed on the witch. He kills because he is a vampire- which she cursed him to be. Bellatrix Lestrange Helena has sex with him and she wants to stay pretty forever (but he has already told her how pretty she is, see how great he is?) so she secretly starts stealing his blood as a fountain of youth. He finds out a kills the bitch cause hey, she fucking deserved it didn’t she?

At one point the witch accuses Depp of the actual problem but it is brushed to the side quickly. She says that he is poison and every woman he meets is ruined. This is dampened by the fact that she is an actual crazy person and directly kills most of the women he comes into contact with. This is hardly the point because the fact that he keeps approaching these women as disposable in the first place is the problem, also he kills some of the women too, before or after he screws them over. 

Fast forward, The witch tries to burn the business down again (literally) He destroys the witch by telling her that she can’t love, (back to the ice bitch theory) while protecting his family and ends up with the virgin for all eternity, the end happily ever after.

Despite the gross display throughout the whole film the last five seconds makes it a little- though, not enough, redeemable by waking Helena up on the bottom of the ocean. Proving that, yea, that part was in no way the witch’s fault he just killed her and dumped her into the ocean and now there’s another super powered bitch who is gonna go after him.

The morale of the story as with many like these is that if you are rich and your business burns down you can endure and if you are polite you can get away with murder and that bitches be crazy.

An actual take home for the men folk might be we will go nuclear on your ass if you treat us as disposable, but then it doesn’t matter because all you have to do is accuse us of being crazy and lock us in a loony bin (yes there was a woman in a looney bin)