OR no means no maybe probably also means no
1. You must ask permission and receive a verbal YES before you touch anyone. (Be as specific in your request as you can.
This is always a good rule but of course it doesn’t have to be verbal, I know sometimes it takes the fun out of it to talk but the key rule here is to be specific about your requests and get a green light- this requires honesty and talking about naughty bits, you can turn it into a game- use a porn rule- narration, say exactly what you want (in a sexy voice lol)
A while back ago bill maher did a segment on how a college made a rule that redefined rape by basically saying if you didn’t get the verbal OK for each sexual act you engage in you could be charged. Though that rule may have been extreme and could result in some serious problems for – well everybody, the spirit of the law was the same. You need specific permission not general permission.
Fair grounds analogy: you may get in, but you need tickets for each ride.
And the thing the audience and bill seemed to be stuck on and have an uncomfortable icky feeling was- again- talking about the naughty bits. Saying [I’ve had fun having my tongue down your throat now can I please move on to fondling your breasts] everybody laughed. We have to start being comfortable asking for what we want.
2. If you’re a yes, say YES. If you’re a no, say NO
3. If you’re a maybe, say NO.
Women have a hard time with this one and it appears to be due to some serious socialization, there are things to remember
-just because you did it before and you may want to do it again doesn’t mean you have to do it right now
-just because you think they are cool and you like them you feel obligated
Women need to learn how to say no and men need to recognize the difference between a yes and the absence of a no.
I just reblogged an earlier article from a guy who made a good traffic analogy. I will shorten it to say. Red Stop. Green Go. Yellow- isn’t always speed up before it hits red.
4. You are encouraged to change your mind.
5. Respect your relationship agreements and communicate with your partner.