Saying “consent is sexy” is yet another way to wrap up women’s rights and needs to appease men. It’s the same as saying “what about if it was your mum/daughter?” Stop assigning value to women by measuring how much the are valued by men. Just stop it.
YES ^ but also it’s a way to establish open dialog about sex. In a society where even talking about sex is shamed it’s encouraging people to have an open a DETAILED dialouge not just about, do you want to have sex? but would you like me to lick kiss bite here there etcetera. A lot of Problems with consent arise when people make asumptions that “hey they were cool with my hands on their bits so they must want to abc…” and then the shame that comes up when the victim says well I let them do abc so they are allowed to do whatever else because I led them on. ..so forth. Especially in kink cicrcles people are trying to mainstream open and specific ‘negotiations’ around sex. When we are still in a place where people feel more comfortable having sex then talking about it and opening a dialouge with someone is another step being equal sexual partners.
If that’s the case why are the animals closest to humans like some monkeys mostly polyamorous while animals closest to dinosaurs like some birds monogamous? Welp actually some researches argue that most logical form of coupling to engage in is sexual promiscuity for the diversification of the gene pool and social pair bonds for stability of offspring rearing…..so yea.
…………….Why exactly? (seriously you can’t just say that you have to actually at least push a theory) Safety reasons? One night stands don’t have to be at a strangers house, they could be at YOUR house. Or *gasp* at a sex party. If you WANT to have anonymous sex, or a fucking train/orgy/gang bang for that matter that’d up to nobody but you. Only having sex with people you know does not raise your self esteem. The increasing number of people you sleep with will not lower your self esteem. Judging people by how many dicks are in them? Stay Classy.
Well obviously. But you just equated stupid with slut and the studies are already fucking in on that one okay! People who have more sexual partners are engage in SAFER sex practices than those who have less. We get tested more. We use protection more- we even communicate more, cause we know better, because we have all the sex all the time (practice makes perfect). Slut behavior is =/= cheating behavior.
Believe it or not people have different body parts and different definitions of sex
Bad decisions do not equal slut decisions but yea be a fellow vagina partner
Remember you are cool regardless of whether you choose to “hook up” with one dude or “the whole hokey team” because the cool part is you made the choice
We want to be clear that we are not taking this personally but this shit (slut shaming) is a perpetuation of rape culture and is dangerous, especially coming from other women.
So I am decidedly in camp liv/fitz/mellie okay but about Ed
Some people are talking about Edison’s invite me in ultimatum. Now while I agree it was problematic, I hardly chalk it up to the “have sex with me or I am leaving you”. They are not teenagers, she is not a virgin who is not ready to have sex for the first time or something. He has watched her press her hair (that’s as heavy as a relationship gets people).
The “I am a man” comment was clearly directed at sexy time. But lest we forget Liv has been actively leading him on for (whatever tv time has elapsed). While using sex (or any relationship escalation) as some sort of threat is a clear no no. It is not somehow evil or inherently sleazy of anyone to state clearly “This is my line. I cannot continue this relationship. Sex is a personal requirement for me in a (this) relationship, if that is not a possibility I have to walk.”
We also have to put this in context of who we are dealing with. X white house high ranking official Olivia fucking Pope. Nobody sees her cry, nobody sees her crack, she is queen of the fixer universe. No one thinks twice about being direct with her when they know she could demolish them. She is not one to be fucked with and therefore will be treated as such.
Edison, despite the obvious signs took about a good 2 hours to see Liv was losing her shit. Yes he was wrapped up in his speech and all but I can also guarantee you that it was also because crying (her crying) doesn’t even register. Other people think of People like Liv as robots, and are unconcerned with hurting them because they know they can’t (they are wrong, but they are sure in that notion). So Edison despite the male/female dynamic or anything else has no issues with (attempting) to stand strong in his position.
Finally, Liv jumped his shit. From his perspective, she could have been emotionally responding to his speech. Is that a really dumb? Yea. Is anyone (in real life) likely to restrain themselves when the love of their life finally returns to them after X amount of years hiatus, unlikely. Ultimately, I rule poor judgement on both parts.
And in the cases where the erotic appeal is in perceived degradation? That’s OK, too. A lot of us like it that way. And participating in an erotic fantasy of degradation doesn’t actually degrade me, anymore than playacting a rape fantasy means I was raped.
Which is friggin accurate however I would like to incorporate that the perception of degradation or the actual act of it, specifically when represented in the porn industry creates the narrative that women are to be used for said degradation.
I might add that I watch a lot of porn, most of the porn out there that has cum shots, which is a lot of them , don’t manage to do those scenes without a tiny question mark hanging over your head as to whether or not said scene was consensual - shity acting aside. There is always a power dynamic with sex as with anything and as any kinkster will tell you you can negotiate your power away. The problem is with porn, which is media[mass consumed media btw]. You never see the power exchange. All you see is female after female in positions of subservience with no clue as to how they got there. If even a third of the porn out there started out with the woman saying at some point before hand. “I want you to cum on my face”. Then I’m done, we can all go home. But that consent is never shown, so cum shots in the media that is, wanted or not, do just become another depiction of what to do to women as opposed to what to do with women, and that’s where the problem of degradation comes in.
Maybe part of the reason I like facials is because I was groomed by a sexist society to enjoy being objectified. Maybe part of the reason someone else hates them is in direct opposition to that same message. We can recognize our influences while still liking what we like. The answer isn’t for us all to stop liking everything that some man might sexistly want us to like, whether it’s shoes or vacuuming or anal sex or having 25 babies. Sexism doesn’t get to dictate what I can and can’t enjoy.
Because vacuuming itself is not the problem. It’s just a chore that needs to get done. The real problem is that all of our choices (to vacuum or not) lead us in the same place as second-class citizens. In the utopian feminist future, where all choices are weighted equally, there are still going to be women who like to vacuum, and who like cum on their faces. It’s just that nobody will care one way or another.
The kicker is of course that we don’t live in that vacuum, we live here. And it is a real fucking problem when you can’t tell whether you like something because you actually like it or because you were conditioned to like it. Correct as she is, your likes, are your likes and you can’t change them, really right? Well maybe. Some likes are likes because of what they represent, taste and attitudes change over time. And if one were to like something because they were conditioned to and then found out what they liked represented something horrible, they might change their tune.
After all there are a lot of people who have been kidnapped and brainwashed by their captors to like a lot of shit, we usually try and help those people when they come back to the real world with the rest of us. Am I comparing all women in this society to kidnap victims? YUP.
There is systematic oppression of women all over the world. I think it’s good to re-examine why we like certain things because as the author stated it’s not the vacuuming but the chore that needs to be done. Or to put it another way, a slave is still a slave even if it doesn’t know it. Liking an activity and choosing to do it isn’t enough, not in the context of a historical oppression.
I know it a lot a fucking work to undertake, digging up and examining all your feelings about every act you do that may serve the patriarchy, but if we keep doing things the way they have always been done, just because we are used to it or we don’t mind it or it seems normal, we may even like it. We can’t be surprised if we don’t go anywhere as a movement.
Because I am totally interested in getting to that place
where all choices are weighted equally, there are still going to be women who like to vacuum, and who like cum on their faces. It’s just that nobody will care one way or another.
But we aren’t there quite yet. And as I will argue with anything
My orgasms are a politics-free zone. Yea, but you wrong doe.
It is now and always has been. They have legislated,medicalized our orgasms since before we were born, they will continue to do so, We need to stop denying that politics isn’t in this place or doesn’t belong in that place and acknowledge that it is already there and get in the fucking game. So we can play by our rules.
women are always taught not to give away their “flower”
when we don’t actually physically give anything up
in the act of sex men are the ones giving away shit
i feel like our lady parts can be just as equally seen as taking away things from men
wouldn’t it be funny to have men telling their sons
boy if you go around giving away your seed to any old woman you’re going to run out - you better save that- save that for marriage.